All The Lonely People
by taichiyagamis
Summary: Sam's not the same anymore. Mentions of rape & self injury. Very light Sam/OFC. Might make a sequel?


Every town they pass through is empty.  
There are people out on the streets. They walk their dogs, they mow their lawns, they drive their hybrid cars. But they're empty.  
It's all so empty.  
Sam watched these empty towns through the dust streaked back window of the Impala. He doesn't say anything. Dad and Dean talk about their newest hunt. Sam thinks of storm clouds. He thinks he read that if a butterflies' wings get wet, it can't fly anymore.  
They're heading into Maine and the air is salty and thick. It's late spring and it's hot.  
They're on the highway, speeding past other cars, some blue and some green and some red. Sam doesn't notice the colors, though. He stares at the people inside and wonders what they're like.  
He doesn't think he'd like most of them.  
He wonders what would happen if he jumped out of the car.

X

The motel has no air conditioning, and it's hot, terribly hot. The humidity here is at a new high.  
Dean's not wearing a shirt, and John is drinking a beer.  
Sam has a book open on his lap, but he's not really reading it.  
The words don't mean anything anymore.  
He stares at instead, and the ink begins to run off the pages. He feels sick.  
He wants something to make sense.  
The book is slammed shut. The ink is inside him, the words are coursing through his veins.  
He leaves the room silently and vomits up the story into the toilet.  
No one notices when he comes back looking pale.  
Dad talks to him about the hunt, and Sam listens carefully. He does this out of habit. He does not care.  
He does not speak. His head nods at the appropriate times, and John eventually leaves for the bar, feeling satisfied with himself. Sam wonders if John is proud. Maybe he thinks Sam is finally the perfect soldier.  
There's something wrong.

X

School goes by slowly. There's no one to talk to, and the building his hot and sticky.  
His lab partner is a girl named Rain. Her hair is purple and hangs from her head as dead and lifeless as Sam feels. She hold dry ice on Sam's bare skin, not saying a word. Sam doesn't flinch, doesn't move.  
Her eyes are pale blue and show no emotion. She drops the ice in the sink and asks, "What's wrong?"  
Sam opens his mouth to tell her, but no words come out.  
She seems to understand anyway.  
She walks Sam home after that, and talks about jumping out into the road.  
She says she wonders if a car would actually stop as to not hit her.  
Sam thinks it's not a bad idea, and Rain picks a daisy. It's wet and dying. She puts it in her hair.  
"Do you like it here?" She asks.  
"Are there train tracks?" Sam asks. Maybe he can sit on them and wait.  
She doesn't answer him.

X

Some days Dean tries to talk to Sam.  
He notices his brother has been quiet since they left their old town.  
Moving blues, he figures.  
He can't remember if Sam actually had friends there, though.  
From the window he watches Sam approach the hotel with Rain. The windows open, and he hears her ask, "This is where you live?"  
"No," says Sam, and heads for the door. Rain leaves. The sky is getting dark with thunderclouds.  
It's so hot here.  
Dean opens the door before Sam has a chance to unlock it.  
"How was school?"  
Sam glances at him. He wants to move his mouth, to say something, to say anything.  
No words come out.  
That night he thinks about razors and pills.

X

"Something's wrong with Sam, dad."  
John looks less than concerned. In his hands are news reports deaths.  
"He's a teenager, Dean."  
Outside there's a roar of thunder, and the rain begins to fall.  
"Give him time, he's upset about the move. Now help me with this research."  
Dean drops the subject and helps him, because it's expected.  
When Sam comes home his eyes are as dark as the skies outside.  
They are tired and sad and hold a secret.  
Dean doesn't mention it, though.

X

Rain gives Sam a cigarette and takes one for herself.  
Sam doesn't smoke but he lights his up anyway and takes a drag.  
While they smoke, Rain talks about her parents.  
She says they're both dead, but they're not really dead.  
She tells him her dad is a lawyer, and his mom is a mouse.  
She tells him that she likes to cut her thighs to know she's not dead too.  
Sam pulls up his sleeve and shows her the few thin cuts on his wrist.  
It's too hot for hoodies.  
Rain touches her cigarette to the skin on Sam's arm, and it stings.  
Sam doesn't mind one bit.  
After that they talk some more. Rain tells Sam that she doesn't think Kurt Colbain really killed himself.  
Sam tells her that she's very pretty.  
She smiles, but he knows she doesn't believe him.

X

Dean notices the cuts on Sam's arm because it's just too damn hot to wear hoodies.  
Sam doesn't care who sees anymore, anyway.  
He can smell the ocean from their hotel room, although it was miles away. He thinks of the sea while he feels Dean's eyes roaming over the marks.  
"What happened?" Dean asked.  
"Nothing."  
"Sam, did you do this to yourself?"  
Sam looks at him, but can do no more. His mouth is sewn shut.  
Dean doesn't know what to do.  
"You need to stop," He says, and gets a beer from the fridge. It's dad's beer and it's just what he needs.  
He wants to talk to Sam about this. Tell him how bad it is. But he can't think of the right words to say. He sits down next to his brother and asks, "Why?"  
Sam wishes he could tell his brother the truth.  
All that comes out of his mouth is, "I don't know."

X

Sam hates sleeping, because he always dreams.  
He dreams of the basement at Melanie's party, and he can hear everyone outside.  
There's alcohol there, and everyone is in the backyard, except for him.  
Only he's not alone.  
He dreams of the smell of cheap whiskey and beer,  
and hands bigger than him sliding up and down his body.  
He can't move.  
When he wakes up he can't tell whether he wants to cry or bleed.

X

For the first time in what seems like forever, the sky is clear. It's dark and there are stars, and Sam and Rain lay on their back and watch them.  
Sam thinks of aliens, and of comets and meteors.  
Rain wonders where all the birds go at night.  
Neither of them talk for a very long time.  
Finally Rain says, in a very quiet voice. "I was raped once."  
Sam glances over at her, then back at the moon. "Me too."  
Later, when Rain walks him back to his motel, she pulls him close to her and gives him a quick kiss. Her lips are dry and chapped. They taste sweet and Sam smiles. Then she pushes him back a little, gives Sam a knowing look, and leaves.  
Dean teases Sam about his "little girlfriend" when he gets inside.  
Sam doesn't love Rain.  
But he loves knowing someone who understands.

X

The poltergeist is dead.  
The bags are all packed up.  
Rain and Sam stand together outside the motel, knowing this is the last time they will ever see each other.  
It's cooler today than it has been in a while.  
Rain's converse are blood red.  
For a while they talk about coffee and books. Rain tells Sam that she's going to tell her dad about everything.  
She says she wants help.  
She kisses Sam goodbye on the cheek, and on the forehead, and on the nose.  
Sam watches her leave. Her t-shirt is torn in the back.  
"You ready to go, Sam?" John asks, carrying the last of their bags out from the car. Dean follows behind him.  
Sam looks at his dad to tell him yes.  
What comes out of his mouth is,  
"I was raped."

X

_**I wanted to try writing in a poetic style I guess? I don't know I suck. Hey if you really like this I might make a sequel?Butyeahok. **_


End file.
